


i tried to save you (i swear i did)

by Justafangirloutthere



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Awesome Pepper Potts, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Hurt May Parker (Spider-Man), Hurt Tony Stark, Mentioned May Parker (Spider-Man), NO Swearing, No Sex, No Smut, Parent Pepper Potts, Pepper Potts Feels, Pepper Potts Is a Good Bro, Pepper Potts Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Gets a Hug, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Precious Peter Parker, Protective May Parker (Spider-Man), Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark-centric, Worried May Parker (Spider-Man), fight me, i give the up on tags, it's 1am in the morning, morgan stark is a precious cinnamon bun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-15 05:38:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19289251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justafangirloutthere/pseuds/Justafangirloutthere
Summary: On the patio of the worn-down Compound, Tony Stark’s heart both soars into the sky, and sinks into the deepest sea.He steps out, and saw the woman he would do anything for sitting on one of the benches, facing the sky.She does not turn her head as he walks out.When he sees her, he notices that her face is emotionless.She swirls her bottle of wine around in her hand.“I’m pregnant.”“Oh,” he says, his voice devoid of emotion.He sits down.And remembers another kid whom he loved so much -who he failed.His heart tears into shreds and doesn't mend itself.





	i tried to save you (i swear i did)

Howard Stark lived by the mantra ‘Stark men are made of iron’.

 

The first time Tony Stark could ever remember his father smiling down at him, was when he burnt himself with a soldering iron.

 

Or, to be more accurate, when he accidentally smashed the whole 660°F tip on his finger, and didn’t cry.

 

His eyes had watered.

 

His mouth had quivered.

 

But he didn’t let those tears fall.

 

Later, as Howard was bandaging Tony’s hands, he said that he was proud of him.

 

Stark men are made of iron, he said.

 

We don’t bend.

 

(but iron could snap. iron could overheat and melt. iron could shatter into a million, billion little pieces.)

 

(and who ever said hearts were made out of iron anyways?)

 

As Tony Stark crouches in a desolate planet, with nothing but a foreign blue alien, and the ashes of his child between his hand, the only thought that runs through his head is

 

_Stark men are made of iron_

 

_Stark men are made of iron_

 

_Stark men are made of iron_

 

And for the first time in what felt like centuries, in what felt like an eternity,

 

a

 

tear

 

escaped

 

from

 

his

 

eyes

 

_snap_

 

*~*

 

On the desolate planet with the ashes of his child between his hands, Tony Stark sobs his heart out.

 

_a million pieces littered the floor_

 

_shards of memories with joy and laughter, happiness and  p a i n_

 

On the floor of the lonely spaceship with the emptiness of his child filling up his heart, Tony Stark is at last, hollow.

 

The blue alien stares at him for a long time as he sinks to the floor.

 

“I’m sorry,” she says.

 

He doesn't reply.

 

She can't bring herself to do anything.

 

After all, she was built to break, and to destroy -

 

but when facing a broken, a destroyed man -

 

she has no idea how to fix him.

 

It was always easier to break than to fix.

 

_the emptiness took place, settling deep in his heart_

 

*~*

 

The golden woman comes right before the end.

 

While gasping for breath, with his stomach panging with hunger, Tony Stark stares at her. He can only think about his child.

 

_he would’ve thought that she was so cool, she-_

 

_he’s dead. he’s dead. he’s dead._

 

_and it’s your fault._

 

She smiles.

 

He doesn't smile back.

 

Though he is finally going back home, returning to Earth, he suddenly felt like the air was suffocating him.

 

He isn't sure if it is because of the lack of oxygen, or something else.

 

The hollowness grows, carving into his heart.

 

*~*

 

On a planet carved in half, Tony Stark meets the people who he once thought of as his closest friends. His family. When he sees them, he thinks only of his kid.

 

_he would’ve loved to meet them,_

 

The hurt they caused, the pain, the heartache would never truly end.

 

Though it was nice to see that someone that he knew survived this.

 

But then he sees a sight he never thought he would ever see again.

 

The world felt dizzy, like it was reorienting itself, trying to balance as old support structures were ripped from under his feet, and as new ones built itself in different places.

 

“Pepper,” he says -

 

and they collide against each other for an eternity.

 

He inhaled her vanilla scented hair, grabbed onto her so tight and he never wanted to let go.

 

On a planet carved in half, Tony Stark saw the woman he loves the most, his love for her unparalleled _(except for one)_

And on a planet carved in half, Tony Stark’s heart hurt just a little bit less.

 

*~*

 

On the couch in a silent apartment in Queens, Tony Stark breaks a woman’s heart.

 

Her face drops as soon as she saw him.

 

“I’m sorry,” he says, his voice little more than a shadow.

 

May Parker shakes her head wildly, and she grabs onto his shoulders.

 

_“Please, please, please”_

 

For hours and hours, they hold onto each other, thinking about the kid that they lost, that they would never see again.

 

That they both loved so much they would trade the entire world for, if only to see him once again.

 

When May Parker’s tears drip onto his suit, Tony Stark’s heart hurt just a little bit more.

 

*~*

 

On the patio of the worn-down Compound, Tony Stark’s heart both soars into the sky, and sinks into the deepest sea.

 

He steps out, and saw the woman he would do anything for sitting on one of the benches, facing the sky.

 

She does not turn her head as he walks out.

 

When he sees her, he notices that her face is emotionless.

 

She swirls her bottle of wine around in her hand.

 

“I’m pregnant.”

 

“Oh,” he says, his voice devoid of emotion.

 

He sits down.

 

And remembers another kid whom he loved so much -

 

who he failed.

 

His heart tears into shreds and doesn't mend itself.

 

_another kid another death_

 

_another life extinguished_

 

_nonono_

 

_i can’t let that happen_

 

_i won’t let that happen_

 

_i..._

 

They sit together in silence.

 

On the patio of the worn-down Compound, Tony Stark’s heart feels both blindingly numb, and piercingly painful.

 

*~*

 

On the linoleum floor of the hospital, Tony Stark’s heart burst into tiny little pieces.

 

Morgan Pepper Stark is the most (one of the most) perfect little person he had ever seen in his life. 

 

As he cradles her in his hands, the tears came again, unbidden.

 

He rocks her back and forth, again and again -

 

trying to forget about another kid who he loved, who broke his heart -

 

who he failed, and inevitably killed.

 

While he rocks little Morgan, he whispers promises to her, not known to anyone other than the two of them.

 

_I will never let anyone hurt you._

 

_I will kill everyone who touches a single strand of hair on top of your perfect head._

 

_I love you so so much._

 

_I wish…_

 

Tony Stark’s heart cries out when he made that last promise, that wasn’t so much a promise as a plea.

 

_… you could meet your brother._

 

*~*

 

On a bed in the middle of a cabin, as Tony Stark tucks his beloved daughter into her bed, his heart slowly put itself back together enough to form some semblance of what it used to be. 

 

He loves his daughter - 

 

but he loved his son too

 

_his son who was stolen away from him, taken, unfairly_

 

But even as the time goes by -

 

even as people's memories of the incident start fading -

 

even as they start to return back to normal -

 

he never lets anyone forget the boy who's eyes were too bright, mind was too keen, heart was too pure for the world to keep him. 

 

*~*

 

On the front steps of the cabin in the middle of nowhere, Tony Stark's heart rises up with hope, before he crushes it again. 

 

_No. Now is not the time for false hope._

 

The desperate man speaks of a 'time heist' to bring back the loved ones that were snatched away before their time. 

 

They all try their best to convince him, but to be truthful,

 

Tony Stark does not know if he wants to do it. 

 

He has gained too much -

 

_beautiful beautiful Pepper and precious precious Morgan_

 

But then he remembers he has lost too much too -

 

_innocent innocent Peter_

 

He stares at the picture in his hands, from before, before life was so hard, before he couldn't sleep at night without thinking of the lives he could've saved, the deaths he could've prevented from the happier times -

 

and honestly? It isn't even that hard. He solves time travel before he goes to sleep. 

 

_For you, Peter._

_I love you so much._

 

*~*

 

On a battleground fighting for his life, Tony Stark finally sees what he has been waiting for this entire time, what he had done all of this for.

 

His kid, his child, not of his flesh nor of his blood, but of his soul, and of his _h e a r t_

 

The kid rambles about something

 

and everything else fades in the background, seemingly non-existent.

 

He hugs his kid so tight, thinking of promises to keep him safe, promises to love him, promises to protect him.

 

On a battleground fighting for his life, despite all the carnage, the deaths, the destruction, despite the shouts, the screams, the cries of pain, Tony Stark’s heart finally _finally_ mended, the broken pieces finally slotting back into place.

 

*~*

 

On a battleground, once the destruction was over, though Tony Stark’s heart stopped, it had never felt more alive, more untouched, more whole.

 

**_fin._ **

**Author's Note:**

> It is tooooooootally not 1AM in the morning. 
> 
> Ehehe I’m gonna regret this tomorrow. 
> 
> HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT DID YOU ENJOY ITTT????
> 
> I’m honestly so tired right now I can not bring myself to proofread this so please bear with me and my GOD VERB TENSES ENGLISH WHYYYYY
> 
> WHAT ACTUALLY IS PRESENT TENSE
> 
> If you find a mistake, and it bugs you, just tell me, please. 
> 
> I’ll fix it.
> 
> Edit: It's the next day. I just found, like, 15 billion mistakes. 
> 
> Whoops. dON't stAY uP lAtE kIDs!


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